8-Bit Theater
8-Bit Theater is a sprite comic created by Brian Clevinger based on the game Final Fantasy by Square. The comic was launched on March 2, 2001. (It has been stated by the author, however, that the comic was started between mid-late January of the year 2001.) Those who have played the original Final Fantasy will note that 8-Bit Theater follows the storyline of Final Fantasy, but the places traveled to and the enemies fought are the only real similarities. For example, Garland, the first boss in Final Fantasy, is pictured as horribly un-evil for a nemesis. This is derived from the fact that Garland is a fairly easy boss in the original game. Also, the comic has a really unique sense of humor.
Art
In general, the art in the comic is taken from the game Final Fantasy, particularly the characters and most of the foreground scenery. However, some backgrounds and objects are taken from different sources. The comic author has previously stated that most are obtained from Google. All editing of the backgrounds and addition of word balloons and text are performed in Adobe Photoshop. The sprites used in the comic are a mix of FF1, FF2j, and FF3j sprites, as well as an additional assortment of sprite edits and artifical sprites created with Corel PhotoPaint 3.0, a Windows 3.0/3.1 art program.
Characters
The events in 8-Bit Theater revolve around four central characters—the Light Warriors—and a number of minor ones. These characters are quite obviously exaggerated RPG stereotypes.
Main characters (the Light Warriors)Fighter McWarrior – At a young age, the swordsman was expelled from Fighter's Camp '86 for failing to answer correctly the question "How many schools of Zodiac Kenshido are there?" After leaving the camp, he was about to "give up the blade and embrace my true calling in life—short order cook!", before literally running into Black Mage and immediately bonding with him, oblivious to the other's attempts to stab him, first in the back, then in the front. Fighter is a skilled warrior/idiot savant with an almost singleminded sword fixation. More intelligent than he appears, but is also able to lower the intelligence of those around him with his sheer incompetence. He's also the idealizer/creator of the sword-chuck, a weapon consisting of two swords attached to each other by a chain extending between the two—a combination of twin swords and a nunchuck. The joke is that you would likely cripple yourself using it, since you wield nunchucks holding their ends; however, after seeing Black Belt's dropped nunchaku, he realizes that the Zodiac Kenshido school is the sword itself, and successfully uses them to fight the six-armed Fiend of Fire, Kary, to a standstill, leading to her defeat. He has severe arachnophobia, and goes into a gibbering panic when told a spider is near or on him. One of his recent destinies was to find the legendary "Armor of Invincibility". He found out that Matoya had it, and inquired to have it from her. Due to a mishearing, Matoya gave Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility.Black Mage Evilwizardington – Black Mage ran into Fighter after being expelled from wizardry camp for answered the question "How many 5th level spells can an experienced wizard cast?" with "More than enough to destroy you all and your families." Immediately confused by Fighter's declaring them best friends, his attempts to stab him are blunted by the warrior's armor. Black Mage is a chaotic, egotistical, power hungry, murderous wizard who hates everyone in the group/in general, especially Fighter, but keeps him around anyway--both as a meatshield, and because he just has trouble killing the armored fellow. He was once killed by Lich and sent to Hell. There, he overthrew the rulers of Hell and became the most powerful immortal being. He went back to Earth to join his compatriots and destroy his original body so he could not be overthrown. Before he could, though, Lich, having been dragged to Hell because he killed Black Mage in the first place, overthrew Black Mage, leading to Black Mage creating the only instance of the word "fuck" in the comic's archives. His "hadoken" attack, usable once a day, is powered by love; specifically, it drains love from the universe when used; Black Mage claims the divorce rates shoot up with every Hadoken cast.Thief, Clan Khee'Bler – A diabolically skilled thief and lawyer who is also Prince of Elfland. Early in the storyline he stole to fund a cure for his father's illness; once this was resolved, he continued stealing because he could. Being a prince, he has command of a group of law-ninja which help him enforce the various binding contracts he has over the team. Red Mage – Second name undisclosed, this character fully understands he is in a stat-based RPG, and acts accordingly and fully within the rules of such reality, often to the continued befuddlement of the team. The strategist of the group, his plans often fail horribly due to the general laws of physics and other people. Red Mage's special talent is manipulating his stats at a moment's notice, through his character sheet. Whether these actually do anything, or whether he is simply scribbling notes on his character sheet is debatable.
Allies (kind of)White Mage – A priestess, she is on a mission to help the Light Warriors succeed, apparently to accomplish her destiny. There is ongoing tension with Black Mage's lustful attraction to her, and her prompt responses (often with her hammer), although it may be revealed that he cannot control himself. She was sent to the beginning of time by Sarda the Sage and inadvertently created the universe. Currently, she is struggling to reconcile her newfound dietyhood with her religious beliefs.Black Belt – A martial artist, he is capable of defying the laws of physics by misunderstanding them, leading to getting lost while walking down a straight corridor by warping the fabric of space and thusly creating a clone with a 5-second time differential. Assigned to guard White Mage on her mission, and killed when ordered to attack Kary, the Fiend of Fire. According to Brian, he is permanently dead, much to the dismay/denial of the character's fans.King Steve – The King of Corneria, the father of Princess Sara, and a lunatic who rules his country as a capricious despot out of pure madness, though he's more a simpleton than anything else. Among other things, he's devastated his country in an attempt to drill for mana (regardless of the fact that you can't find mana that way), issued laws preventing anyone from criticizing his perfect rule, and had babies skinned in order to make leather for his shoes. He was the one who first recruited the Light Warriors, although his original plan was simply to send every applicant into the dangerous wilds to be slaughtered, with the survivors being the "true" Light Warriors. He was tricked by Black Mage into appointing the group with four recently-removed lightbulbs, being told that they were "hot with destiny!", but that their destiny was cooling off quickly.Matoya – Blind witch, she sends the Light Warriors on a side-quest to regain her Seeing Orb and feeds them poisoned cookies to ensure they do, promising them an antidote if they return with it; beforehand, she grants Fighter the Armoire of Invincibility, due to a mishearing.Sarda – Omnipotent wizard and the Wizard Who Did It; accidentally sent White Mage to the beginning of the universe, stopped time, and unsuccessfuly spent 734 years trying to teach Black Mage the concept of "self-sacrifice."The "Real" Light Warriors – Made up of a Knight, a Red Wizard, a White Wizard and a Ninja (one of whom is named Barry). These four warriors were apparently supposed to be the real Light Warriors of Destiny, as each possesses an actual Light Orb. They got passed over for the job by King Steve however, because their orbs weren't "even lukewarm with destiny," unlike Black Mage's lightbulbs. Since then they've always been one step behind the heroes. Recently, the Light Warriors stole their boat, leaving them stranded on a lifeless ice sheet.
The Dark WarriorsGarland – First villain faced by the Light Warriors; is not very self-confident, and overanxious to please and serve his supposed "enemies"; he had to be assisted by Evil Princess Sara, the other side of the princess who he had kidnapped. After his first failed encounter with the Light Warriors, he formed the Dark Warriors and began a propaganda campaign against the Light Warriors. Garland is currently wrestling with trying to control his various phobias concerning forest imps, the weakest creatures in the world. Though therapy has convinced him that forest imps do not exist, the beasts still secretly torment him.Bikke – The pirate captain who attacked Pravoka, and a very cheap man, having killed his crew by feeding them nothing but Cheetos until they succumbed to scurvy, then surrendered his poorly maintained ship to the Light Warriors and spent the saved money gambling. Second to join the Dark Warriors, he desires to be called "the Claw", despite having two functional hands. Despite being a captain, he cannot swim and sinks like a rock.Drizz'l – A Dark Elf, he is a sword master equal to Fighter, fighting him to a standstill. He trained and controlled the spiders of the Marsh Swamp (including the deadly camel spider, which sent Fighter into hysterics), and was the third to join the Dark Warriors after being mauled and left for dead by the Light Warriors, and considers himself the most intelligent one. He is also a parody in name of fictional dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden. His swords were stolen by Fighter, and named Slashy and Stabby. They would later be used for Fighter's sword-chucks.Vilbert the Vampire – A goth vampire and final member of the Dark Warriors. He is equal to Red Mage in role-playing intensity, although he prefers live-action roleplaying, as compared to RM's stat-based lifestyle. After being somehow resurrected from having the Armoire of Invincibility driven through his heart ("The mightiest stake in all the land!"), he was invited by Garland to join the Dark Warriors.
EnemiesEvil Princess Sara – The other side of Princess Sara; sharp, assertive, and very short-tempered, she is a sword-master and the grudging assistant of Garland until his defeat, after which she returned to Corneria and her father. Evil Princess Sara also runs an infrequently updated advice column.King Astos of the Dark Elves – Father of D'rizzl, tried to steal Elfish throne by poisoning Thief's father and bribing the doctor to hide the truth; died of a heart attack due to a pre-battle taunt by Black Mage ("Astos? Mo' like your ASS is TOAST!")Lich King – Lord of Death, Earth Fiend, holder of the Earth Orb, and Father of Vilbert; killed Black Mage and was later dragged into Hell because of it.Kary – six-armed, psychotic half-snake/half-woman, blade master/pyromancer, Fire Fiend and holder of Fire Orb; killed Black Belt and was afterwards stuffed in a Bag of Holding, completely frozen, and then shattered.Mrr'grrt– An evil Piscodemon.Lzh'lhe– Another evil Piscodemon. They all have tea parties.
External links
8-Bit Theater website
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