Mr. Teatime
Mr. Teatime is an Assassin in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novel Hogfather. His first name is Jonathan. He was taken into the Ankh-Morpork Assassins' Guild because they took pity on him after his parents suffered a tragic accident (they looked over his crib). He is boyishly handsome, with curly blond hair and a ready smile, but these features are quite ruined by his eyes. One is glass, and the other is off-white, with a tiny, pinhole sized pupil. He is, undoubtedly, a genius, and also quite insane. His mind has been compared at times to both a corkscrew and a shattered diamond (i.e. something brilliant, sharp and dazzling, but also fundamentally and irrevocably broken). His main problem seems to be that he sees other people as things. This gets him into a spot of trouble early on, as his assassinations often include the brutal murders of, not just the target, but also their family, their servants, and very often their pets. However, when the Auditors need someone to assassinate the Hogfather, Teatime is just the man for the job, as he often used to dream up ways to kill the Hogfather while lying in bed as a boy on Hogswatch Night. He commissions the help of a cadre of lowlifes, ranging from big Banjo Lilywhite to the locksmith Mr. Brown, and sets about putting his ingenious plan into action, which inevitably pits him against Susan Sto Helit and her Grandfather Death. Most of the time Mr. Teatime seems a pleasant, albeit odd young man. He only seems to get irritated when people mispronounce his name (which he says as Te-ah-Tim-eh). However, he possesses physical abilities which defy physics, and has been known to perform feats such as stabbing someone through the eyelid without touching their eye, flipping on thin air, and killing so fast he appears to be a blur, all of which he will do without any notice or provocation.
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